identity

after spending many months in 2009 in south africa as a bit of a getaway from moz, i returned this year to my hometown manjacaze.

living in SA, was a time to reflect again on who i am and what i've become. most people find their identity in stuff. they hang out at malls or restaurants, do shopping, buy gadgets(stuff), follow fasion, cars, jobs, even a hobby.... my clothing, my sunglases, the brand on my board shorts, or cycling gear etc, help me express who i am, gives me confidence, self-esteem. put that same person on an unspoilt beach or island, and he will be a nothing, totally bored with himself, or have nothing to talk about with anyone.

some find identity in being connected to a certain celebrity, or a pastor or leaders, a group of people, or club, rugby team, organization, whatever, we find identity in being connected with certain peoples and doing certain activities with them. take that person out of your life and suddenly your image takes a huge blow. to have nothing to do or nowhere to go on weekends, makes one feel less important, less human.

I connected with a cell group in Hazyview during my time in SA. This group gave me a place to belong to, to share, to hold me accountable and to challence me, they also encouraged me and prayed for me during difficult times. To "connect to" is a natural human need, thats how we are. But whats important is WHY we connect: do we value love, accounatability, reallness, to share life deeply together, maturity, growth, or do we value the name or image of the group, the name of its leader, etc...
Do I add value to the group by means of my name and accomplishments, or by means of my character, honesty, realleness, brokeness, love, etc.

Identity is found in One. In knowing Him and to grow towards spiritual maturity. In Christ we will find that He created us with gifts, talents, all related to Himself, and they define who He created us to be.

being back in mozambique, im personally being robbed of all stuff and closest friends. nobody here knows the brands of the shoes im wearing, hereyou are lucky if you have shoes. No one knows the celebs I know in SA, or the cycle club i belong to, that I have a degree, a massive network of people. Im just the white man. When i put on my mountainbike helmet and cycling shorts, im seen as weird, trust me, some have a good laugh at me, and children run away when they see me comming. i cant talk to anyone in my first or second language, cant converse about cycling or flyfishing. i cant go out to shops and buy new brands, for there arent any. i cant go to a restaurant with friends for ill have to buy everyone drinks, food etc, cause no one can afford it.

here, life is at home, nothing hidden, life is about who you are while having nothing. Life here shows your true identity, cant hide love, hospitality, cant buy and not share, cant pretend to be somehting you are not.

here i realize who i am. i am nobody.

but i guess thats where Christ wants me to be. so He can shape my identity.








Monday, January 25, 2010

one life

Life in Mozambique is hot and dry. We’ve had only 40mm of rain this season. This means severe drought and famine in many districts. Walking to church yesterday, I came along three widows of our congregation, as we walked on together, I asked them how they were doing, and they simply put their hands on their stomachs to indicate hunger. After church, I came along a youth from our church, he was repeatedly throwing sticks into a tree, I watched him as I came close and wondered what he was up to, in closer investigation I saw he was trying to hit a cashew fruit from the tree, 5 meter up, after probably the fifteenth throw, he hit it, and the fruit fell down, only to discover it was rotten in side. Today a young girl came to my house, she and her cousin stay with their grandmother and have no food to eat, they asked for something to eat. Everyone makes debt or sell possessions. One lady brought her TV to me, hoping I would buy it.

I was on my way out tonight to our local restaurant which serves the most awesome prawns, calamari, fish and my favorite, Portuguese chicken. Upon closing the door I stared at my food shelves and realized my kitchen has food for a week, yet I can even think of going out for dinner at a restaurant. I decided to stay in, make mieliepap, like most other will be having too. I made enough to last three meals. I decided to eat only mieliepap till my 5kg bag is finished, simply to understand a little more what it’s like to live on the same thing, if you have it that is.
But what the heck, what do you do when life is just so unfair. Can’t give away everything you have, can share everything and end up like everyone else. Can’t eat the same or my immune system will drop dead. After all, it is because I am lucky that I have a better life and therefore I can try to make a difference. Can’t see it as a blessing, are the hungry then cursed? Can’t see it as Gods choice, why then did he decide against food for them? And it’s a cruel world, sin destroyed the perfect balance and now you’re either lucky or not.


A friend of mine mentioned yesterday that people suffer because they made the wrong choices. Sometimes true, but heck, nobody chose to not have rain for nearly 10 months. Most ladies here live with HIV, because their husbands brought it from SA while working there and this hunger will certainly kill them. The child who came here today, her mother ran away with a man and left them with their grandmother who is well of age. Whose choice was it anyway?
Life, is not all about choices, one can but only be thankful and content with what you have, truly make the most of it and share all you can.



………Lord, bless this meal I’m about to receive
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